Dating Advice
Still Single for the
Holidays? Lucky You!
By
Terry Hernon MacDonald
Oh, no! Christmas, Hanukah, and New Year’s Eve are
coming, and you’re still not dating anybody.
The specter of enduring gatherings with relatives
who harass you because you’ve failed to hook up trounces your
hopes for peace and goodwill. You’ll be explaining your sorry self
from the first sip of eggnog to your last bite of mincemeat
pie.
Afterwards, you’ll tuck into bed feeling like a
colossal loser, remembering how Cousin Patty flashed her newly
installed engagement ring (roughly the size of an aircraft
carrier) all through dinner. And then, as you console yourself
that this was just one night out of your life, that surely you can
rise above the pitying looks and comments, it dawns on you that
you’ll be subjected to them again on New Year’s Eve!
You find yourself with two choices: (A) Attend a
party teeming with self-satisfied couples, hoping to God that some
gorgeous single specimen of the opposite sex will infiltrate and
rescue you from your glass of warm champagne. (B) Accept Mom and
Dad’s offer to watch the ball drop on their new big-screen TV and
endure entreaties to ‘hurry up and get married already’ between
appearances by B-list celebrities.
So, what will you do?
The temptation to call it quits this year, stay
home, and slump through re-runs of Sex and the City with a bottle
of wine is staggering. Don’t do it. This holiday season can be
your best yet if you approach it with the right mindset. Here are
five tips to help facilitate a new perspective:
Know the truth: Those self-satisfied married
people aren’t so satisfied. Hey, most of them are downright
miserable. Don’t believe me? Look around. Go into any family
restaurant on a Friday evening, and check out all the couples that
don’t make eye contact. Observe the husbands and wives who speak
to the children but not to each other. Go to the mall on a Sunday
afternoon and watch the Christmas shoppers. A far cry from what
you see in the diamond ads, eh? Be happy that you are not stuck in
a dull marriage! Decide that if and when you marry, you’ll do it
for the right reasons, not because you hit a certain age, your
parents were nagging you, you want children, or you want to make
your friends feel bad because you bought or received a bigger
diamond than they did.
Come up with a snappy answer. When some moron eyes
you over the Christmas turkey and asks, “Aren’t you ever going to
get married?” Just respond, “Why do you ask?” If the inquisitor
persists, smile enigmatically and say, “I’m too young to get
married.” Say this even if you’re fifty. If your mother starts
piling on the guilt about giving her grandchildren, tell her you
hate kids. Suggest that she sponsor an unfortunate child for
twenty dollars a month through a worthy charitable organization.
Never allow yourself to be drawn into conversations about what it
is you do to repel the opposite sex.
Walk into every party like a winner. Sit down at
every dinner table as if you’re the guest of honor. Be quietly
confident. Smile. Walk tall. Sit up straight. Feel good about
yourself. Adorn yourself in clothes that flatter you (women, the
poncho may be the rage, but if it makes you look like a sack of
onions, put it down; men, avoid wearing baseball caps at all
costs). Do not walk into a party hoping that someone will notice
you. Walk into a party expecting to be noticed.
Be proactive. Instead of waiting around for
invitations, host a party of your very own. Give the event a sheen
by preparing a trendy drink. Make an investment and pour it into
appropriate glasses. For an elegant effect, start the night by
playing Mozart or jazz renditions of holiday classics. Keep the
party lively later on by spinning Moby or the latest U2. Be the
star you are and dress up. (If you want something more casual,
Super Bowl parties are a blast, even for those of us who don’t
understand football.) Invite singles and couples from work,
church, wherever. The more the merrier, so tell guests to bring a
friend. Be sure to ask a married couple or two to prevent the vibe
of a singles’ mixer, but avoid inviting couples that stand around
talking about their children all night.
Understand that being single is a good thing.
Look, you’re not tied down to anybody. Your life is full of
possibilities. Every day is an adventure. You can travel as you
like, buy clothes as you like, date as you like. Married people
can’t. Decide not to give up your freedom until someone truly
worthy comes along. This is powerful. When you sit around waiting
for the right person to show up, nobody will. But once you decide
to enjoy your life, often somebody wonderful and worthy will
appear—and sooner than you expect.
About The Author
(c) Terry Hernon MacDonald
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the host of "Romance
Talk with Terry," which can be accessed any time at http://www.healthylife.net Visit
her website at http://www.marrysmart.com
terry@marrysmart.com
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