Dating Advice
Online Dating Tips
for the Digital Age of Romance
By Cherie Davidson
We are romantic creatures. We are social
creatures. With these two elements sharing our genetic code, we
have little choice but to seek out someone with whom we can feel
free to share our romantic gestures. In the Stone Age, this was
accomplished much the same way as any survival technique (i.e.,
hunting and gathering). In the Industrial Age, the biggest change
was that we looked and smelled better during our pursuits. Now, in
the Digital Age, we are more efficient with our techniques,
electronically speaking, however we have also proven that the
human species has not changed a great deal on this fundamental
level.
So, instead of trekking over hill and dale
searching for a love connection, we now flip a switch and "google"
for one. Less sweat, but other than that, not much else has
changed. The same criteria still dictates how humanity looks for
love -- attraction, compatibility, willingness to extend a heart
and hand to hold.
Online dating has many positive aspects, some
great advantages over the "bar scene," and has been proven as an
efficient, safe and enjoyable way to make real love connections.
Online dating works very well as a pre-screening tool and allows
you to relax more when you do decide to take a relationship
offline. However, as with all dating rituals throughout history,
there are some precautions that should be taken, to protect
yourself, body and heart.
Go With Your Gut ...
Always be aware that the person at the other end
of an e-mail message may not be who or what he or she represents
him or herself to be. Listen to your instincts ... trust your
instincts. If anything about the person makes you uncomfortable,
even if it is "just a feeling," then for your own safety and
protection, "walk" away.
Be Mysterious, a.k.a. Use Your Anonymity
...
Don't be too eager to disclose personal
information. Never include your last name, home address, phone
number, where you work, who you work for, or any other identifying
information. Always discontinue communication with anyone who
pushes or pressures you for personal information! Also watch for
any attempts to try to trick you into revealing any personal
details. Be very sure you are comfortable before revealing any
such delicate information.
Build Trust Through Caution & Common
Sense ...
In the offline world, trust is earned gradually
through consistently honorable, upfront, honest behavior. Take all
the time you need to learn if a person is trustworthy. Again,
listen to your instincts. Be responsible and don't fall "head over
heels" and abandon caution at the click of your mouse.
To Phone Or Not To Phone, That Is The
Question ...
Obviously, share your phone number only after you
feel completely comfortable and certain the person can be trusted.
Common sense tells you not to offer your personal phone number to
a stranger. An option could be to use a "disposable" cell phone,
or utilize telephone blocking features available in order to
prevent your phone number from appearing on a stranger's Caller
ID.
Phone Calls Can Tell You A Lot
...
When you do get to the "phone stage" of the
relationship, realize that a phone call may often reveal a great
deal about someone's communication and social skills, so listen
carefully -- to your instincts as well as to the other person's
voice and words. And even if you feel comfortable with someone,
still, always consider your security first!
Don't Be Pressured To Meet Too Quickly
...
One of the great advantages of meeting and
relating online is that you can collect information gradually and
on your own terms, allowing you to choose if and/or when to pursue
the relationship offline. You are never obligated to meet anyone
no matter how far your online relationship has progressed. Even if
you decide to meet offline, you have the right to change your mind
at any point. If at any moment you feel uncomfortable about
meeting someone in person, listen to yourself--that "inner voice"
could be based on a hunch that you can't really explain, but trust
yourself.
Red Flags, Take Warning
...
Watch for negative attitudes, such as displays of
anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressure or control you.
Such behavior as these, as well as a passive-aggressive manner,
making demeaning or disrespectful comments, or any physically
inappropriate behavior should send up "red flags." Be very
concerned if your date exhibits any of these behaviors. You are
also wise to discontinue any relationship where the person gives
you inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance,
marital status, profession, employment, or anything else for that
matter. If the person fails to provide direct answers to direct
questions, appears significantly different in person from their
online persona, and never introduces you to friends, associates or
family members, don't walk, but run, the other way!
Meet In A Safe Location
...
If you decide to meet offline, always tell a good
friend or family member(s) who you are meeting, a telephone number
to contact you, where you are going and when you will return.
Always provide your own transportation, never arrange for your
date to pick you up at home. Meet in a public place at a time with
many people around. A familiar, crowded meeting place is a good
idea. If you decide to move to another location, take separate
cars. When the date is over, leave on your own. Before trust has
been built, play it safe.
If you are arriving from another city, arrange for
your own car and hotel room--never allow your date to make the
arrangements for you. Do not disclose the name of your hotel.
Arrange to meet at a public location that the two of you can
comfortably agree on. If for any reason, as you are arriving or
after you have arrived, the location seems inappropriate or
unsafe, return to your hotel. And as stated before, always make
sure a friend or family member knows your plans and has your
contact information, and for added security, carry a cell phone
with you at all times.
Stay Safe ...
Never let yourself be pressured to do anything you
feel uncomfortable with or unsure about. If you are in any way
intimidated by, or afraid of, your date, use your best judgment,
and in the least confrontational manner possible make a hasty
retreat. If you are feeling unsure how to end the date early,
excuse yourself and go call a friend or family member for advice,
ask for help from someone in your immediate location, or slip out
the back door and drive away. Don't worry about hurting feelings
or being embarrassed. And if you feel you are in any danger, don't
mess around--call the police. Your safety is always much more
important than one person's opinion of you.
Dishonest and unscrupulous people certainly exist
on the Web. We've all heard horror stories. They also exist
offline, and not just in bars and at parties. Regardless of where
you meet someone new, remember that a little safety-consciousness
and common sense can save you from a disastrous encounter. Affairs
of the heart are never risk-free, but by being alert and
exercising a little caution, you can enjoy the exhilarating
experience of meeting someone special, someone new, and maybe even
someone you will have in your life for many happy years to
come.
This is a free-reprint article written by
freelance writer and Website content developer, Cherie' Davidson.
Cherie' is also managing content editor for eDipity.com (
http://www.edipity.com ) and
welcomes you to submit similar articles for posting on eDipity.com
and in the eDipity Article Exchange list ( http://groups.yahoo.com/group/edipity/ ). For more information, write her at editor@eDipity.com or at her
business address, cherie@SuitableWords.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
