Dating Advice
Dating Tips for the
Shy Woman
By Terry Hernon
MacDonald
Dating can be an absolute nightmare for shy
people. You want to meet the right person, but you’re too scared
to do anything about it.
Introductions—sticking out one’s hand and looking
another person in the eye—can be terrifying. The brain locks up as
you scramble to think of something relevant to say. You fall apart
as soon as you’re asked what you do for a living. You stammer. The
heat rises in your face and under your arms. You’re suddenly
incapable of forming a grammatical sentence. You think to
yourself, “Why would anyone care about me? I’m really not that
interesting!”
Fear not. Many shy people have succeeded in
meeting new people and forming lasting, happy relationships. With
a little practice, you can too. Here are some tips for taming your
social terror.
1. Prepare a pitch. The
question, “So, Sally, what do you do for a living?” is bound to
come up, so have a ready answer. No need to brag about capturing
the company Tidy Break room Award; just state clearly what you do
for a living and don’t apologize for it!
2. Ask questions. People
love to talk about themselves (okay, except for people like you),
so ask questions. Come up with a list before you leave the house,
i.e., How did you get into that line of work? Where did you go to
school? Have you seen the new Brad Pitt movie? And so
on.
3. When you fumble, turn the
subject to the other person. Whenever you find yourself
longing to throw a blanket over your head and crawl off, try
saying something like “And what about you?”
4. Listen to what the other
person is saying! This is important. Instead of fretting about
what you’ll say next, still the wheels of your mind and listen. If
a man tells you about his weekend on the golf course, and you know
absolutely nothing about golf, just ask him what he likes about
it, how he got into it, etc.
5. Smile. People respond
well to people who smile. No need to grin like an idiot, but a
disarming smile will get ‘em every time. Smiling conveys
friendliness and approachability. Show teeth whenever possible.
Avoid looking like a figure at a wax museum by practicing in a
mirror before you leave the house.
6. Breathe. Whenever you
feel your heart racing, breathe deeply and slowly. If you really
start to feel uncomfortable (your face has become so hot you could
use it for a wok), excuse yourself and go to the
restroom.
7. Compliment the other
person. Sincerity is key, so find something you like and mention
it. You may be freaked out by the idea of complimenting a man on
his soulful eyes, so mention his watch, suit, tie, or even his
shoes. No need to go overboard: “Nice shoes,” will do
it.
8. Stay on top of current
events. You don’t necessarily want to bring up your stand on Bush
v. Kerry during a first meeting, but be able to discuss less
controversial issues intelligently.
9. Remember the weather!
Some people have the “gift of gab,” the ability to make strangers
feel like they’ve known them forever. They are fearless about
talking about the weather, gas prices, whatever. Shy people worry
that talking about mundane things will make them appear stupid.
But seemingly dull subjects like the weather affect everybody.
People relate to them.
10. Hold your head up. It’s
the simplest, most effective way to look confident. Good posture,
coupled with that fabulous smile of yours, gives you a “winner’s
vibe.” You’re guaranteed to be a hit!
Be warned: These tips will not help you if you
don’t leave the house. It’s just too easy to watch a Friends rerun
for the umpteenth time instead of meeting people, but I promise
you that Prince Charming is never going to climb through your
bedroom window.
Talking to strangers can be uncomfortable, but
with practice it will surely get easier. If you have a bad night,
congratulate yourself for making the effort. When you have a good
night, understand that you earned it. Know that countless
wonderful nights are on their way to you.
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to
Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams (Even if You're Not Rich,
Thin, or Beautiful). Please visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
