Perhaps more dangerous than the notorious Internet rapists
and murderers are the Cyber Lotharios. Maybe you know one. Smooth
as silk. Seduction is his native language.
More dangerous, because these guys (well, maybe there are
girls too, but I am more familiar with the guys) are GOOD.
These guys are the Internet equivalent of a Bill Clinton,
if Bill Clinton hadn't gotten caught. They are the cyber version
of handsome -- they write beautifully, know just what you want to
hear and tell you. They POUR it on, and for a thirsty woman, it is
nectar from the Gods.
These fellows post on dating sites indefinitely, waiting
for the unsuspecting newbie to the dating site. You might contact
him, he might contact you, but like a used car salesman, he knows
a pigeon when he sees one.
Then slowly, softly, but determinably, he has his way with
you.
How do you tell if you have one of these guys on the wire?
What if he is a really nice guy, really meaning every word he
says?
Well, one thing would be if you find yourself agreeing to
things that you never would if you were in your right mind.
Particularly if that has to do with sex. Or maybe money.
These guys make manipulation feel like a warm bath. You
just slide right in and it feels delicious.
But there is a certain vagueness, particularly about past
relationships, and perhaps about future plans. These guys may
reassure, but they also will leave themselves a way out.
How can you tell?
Well, one thing you can do is ask for a relationship
history. Then pay attention to how he responds, as well as what he
actually says.
Does he groan and moan about doing the job? Is he grudging
in what he tells you? Or is he open and serious, understanding
what you are asking and why?
Does he seem to have trouble remembering his own history,
what her name was, what order the different relationships came in?
Is he reluctant to divulge, or does he sound like he is fudging?
Does he seem to be moving you fast towards a romantic
getaway? Maybe he makes plans for the two of you to meet, and
reserves only one room. Is he heavily sexually suggestive and
titillating? Does he ask questions like "What kind of lingerie are
you wearing?"
Even though a new and legitimate relationship can be highly
sexually charged, a guy who is seriously interested in you and a
possible future with you will be protective and understanding of
you and your feelings.
If you feel antsy, pay attention. If your hormones may be
doing your thinking, put on the brakes. Better to let this
dangerous Clark Gable type swim away than to be left flat and
busted.
Kathryn Lord, Romance Coach
Helping singles
find someone wonderful!
eBk: "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love
Trip Planner for Women""
4870 Oak Ridge Road, Vicksburg, MS
39183 / Ph. 601-619-0030
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complimentary enewsletter *eMAIL to eMATE*
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http://find-a-sweetheart.com/newsletter.html
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Kathryn@Find-A-Sweetheart.com
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