Dating Advice
The Huge Advantages
of Online Dating
By Jan
Andersen
Imagine the joy of finding the love of your life,
an exciting romantic liaison or a rewarding friendship when you
are looking and feeling your worst. You had a hellish time at work
the previous day, you feel as though you haven’t slept a wink,
your skin would be a voyage of exploration for a dermatologist and
a crow would be more than happy nesting in your hair. You feel
tired and fed up and your self-esteem is at an all time low. You
long for someone special with whom to share your life, but right
now you feel that even Quasimodo wouldn’t consider you as a
romantic option. In this moment of self-deprecation, how is
meeting Mr or Mrs Right possible? By taking advantage of online
dating, of course.
Helen is 38 and works for a prestigious law
firm. Her dating track record since the tragic and premature
death of her husband five years ago has been poor. Although the
majority of Helen’s work colleagues are male, she says, “The
majority of them are married and even if they were available, I
would not be interested. I also don’t think I could cope with
having a relationship with someone involved in the legal sector. I
imagine that we would find it very hard to leave our work
behind. Socially, where does one go to meet likeminded men
who are genuinely interested in a relationship as opposed to a
one-night stand?”
Helen went onto explain that she met her late
husband whilst at university and, during the many contented years
of her marriage, she had a fairly blinkered view of dating
agencies. “I viewed them with suspicion, assuming that they were
frequented by people who either had major personality flaws, or
else had some ulterior seedy motive. I never once stopped to think
about how difficult it is in this day and age to meet suitable
companions in mainstream environments. Of course, about two years
after Harry’s death when I began thinking that I didn’t want to
spend the rest of my life alone, I realised that meeting other
people was not that easy. Clubs and pubs really didn’t appeal to
me. I tried going with friends to wine bars, but found that I was
largely on the receiving end of unwanted attention from men in
whom I had no interest. It was also obvious that the majority of
them were just after a quick thrill.
Helen quickly began to view dating agencies as an
attractive option, but didn’t really like the idea of being
computer-matched with someone. After all, that removed personal
choice and she made it clear that she was not the sort of person
who liked having choices made for her! Her decision to try online
dating as an alternative was made whilst awaiting a dental
appointment.
“In the waiting room, I came across an article on
online dating as I was idly perusing the obligatory stack of
well-thumbed women’s magazines. The article must have been
particularly well written, because I was instantly sold on the
idea. The concept of being able to peruse a database of potential
suitors whilst still in my dressing gown was extremely appealing.
At least I knew that when I did dress up, it would be because I
actually had a date, rather than putting a huge effort into
preparing for a night cruising around social clubs, with no
guarantee that I was going to meet someone. After my appointment,
I couldn’t wait to get home and begin checking out some of the
sites that were recommended.
Helen spent a long time researching the plethora
of online dating sites before she found one that she felt catered
for her needs, which of course included a level of
security.
“I wasn’t particularly drawn to totally free
sites, because I felt that they were more likely to attract
members who weren’t particularly serious about the process, or
whose intentions weren’t entirely honourable. I was more
interested in sites that allowed you to peruse profiles, but which
required you to pay for full membership before allowing you to
contact other members. That way, I knew that those I contacted
were probably more serious about meeting someone special and not
just after a quick fling. I wanted to sign up with a site where I
felt totally in control and also secure in the knowledge that none
of my personal contact details would be divulged to anyone unless
I specifically chose to give out this information. I was also more
impressed by sites that offered a range of relationship advice and
articles.”
Helen eventually signed up with DatingHappy and
says that it was one of the best decisions she has ever
made.
“At first I felt rather embarrassed admitting to
even my closest friends that I had chosen this route, but when I
did, I was amazed at how many of them had also considered doing
the same thing. One of my friends, whom I assumed had met her
husband at the gym, admitted that she had actually met him via an
online message forum. Although this wasn’t the same as a dating
agency, essentially it was no different. She had found someone
with whom she shared common interests, but whom she had not
previously met face-to-face and that is exactly how I began
broadening my male social circle, except via a dedicated
relationship facility.
Helen says that she found the search process
“exhilarating”.
“It was like being an invisible fly on the wall in
a room full of interesting men from all walks of life with their
personal profiles attached to them I could look,
analyse and weigh up the options in a way that would be impossible
if all those men were in one room. The best part was the
convenience and the fact that it didn’t matter one iota what I
looked like or how I behaved!
“I also liked the idea of initially being able to
build the foundations of a relationship on friendship and mutual
interests, before actually meeting someone and being blinded by
lust, which of course never lasts with the same intensity as at
the beginning of a relationship!”
Has Helen met her match?
“Very possibly”, she laughs. “I’ve had tremendous
fun and I’d like to say that I believe I have found a relationship
with future potential, but you’ll just have to wait and
see......!!”
About The Author
Jan Andersen is a British Freelance Writer and
Copywriter specialising in articles and features on diverse
lifestyle topics and social issues. She has also participated in
many TV and radio programmes. Jan also owns and runs five
websites; World Writer, Mothers Over 40, Child Suicide, SACS
(Surviving After Child Suicide) and Jan Andersen Writing Services.
Until recently, Jan had four children aged 20, 18, 16 and 4.
Her eldest son, Kristian, tragically took his own life on 1
November 2002. Whilst campaigning for depression, suicide and
drugs’ awareness, Jan is writing a book on child suicide entitled,
“Chasing Death”.
http://www.janandersen.homestead.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
